Posted by: Vicky V | December 3, 2009

It was so big I couldn’t fit it in the oven

I’m not given to innuendo but the closest thing I’ve got to stiff and pink this week is the bumper pack of boldly-coloured craft card I bought from Rymans. Along with tubes of glitter and Pritt stick, I have been a veritable Tony Hart when it comes to taking initiative in the form of craft for the Schools Healthy Eating talk. In almost every waking hour when I should have been drinking gin and eating cream-filled brandy snaps (n.b. this combination came out on top after I spent last Saturday night trialling drinks ‘n sweet treats for myself to enjoy ver the festive season. The contenders were 1) Malibu and coffee cake 2) whisky and white chocolate pie 3) Schnaps and flapjacks 4) white wine and bacon – I was drunk and needed a change) anyway, a diversion, when I SHOULD have been spending time sampling these perfect festive highs I was mounting a range of organic fruit and veg (dirty bird, I said I wasn’t given to innuendo) on other bits of card and assembling it all into fifteen nutrition fact sheets.

None of which Karen wanted to look at and all of which Ben didn’t have the time to look at.

There was no, what my brother Spike calls “joined up thinking” or communication about this project (which, you may have forgotten since I have been blinding you with food and sexual stuff, was intended to put the agency ahead of the game by promoting healthy eating amongst secondary school kids by using our very own models as an example in the form of a talk).

The whole thing gained the momentum of an Indiana Jones boulder, this afternoon, when I found myself waiting at the gates of Bisham High School, home to the offspring of London’s media elite. More on which, later. I now have to go and recover from what happened with a delicious cream filled brandy snap. You are clearly given to innuendo you dirty bird.

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