Posted by: Vicky V | July 29, 2009

I’ve got the shakes

I break out into a cold sweat at the weekly staff meeting, not least because it’s taken me weeks to master the agents’ immensely complicated beverage orders:

A triple shot skinny latte for Karen, tall in size but decanted into a grande cup. Hold the lid. I’ll hold your lid, Karen, and then sew it shut.

A double espresso for Zack re-heated in a stainless steel pan and decanted into a china tea cup and saucer.

A cappuccino for Ben. He doesn’t specify size or milk type so I mix up the cinnamon and chocolate sprinkle just to get a bit of creativity into my day.

A macchiato and two small bottles of sparkling water for Cream Horn, none of which she ever touches.

And, finally, biscotti for Bernard and I to suck on like rusks in the corner as the adults do their business.

All balanced on a glass tray with Audrey Hepburn’s face on it.
At this morning’s meet, Zack rested his arm on my shoulder and told me he was looking forward to the away day. His animal magnetism gave me the shakes. The tea cup I was carrying started to rattle and I turned from a nubile woman into a pensioner in the last throes of life. This was opportunity = crisis.

Then Karen proceed to tell me how last year’s away day was “a total hoot” including clowns, magicians, The Ivy, water sports and enough of that damn Grey goose vodka to swim in.

Cream Horn pointed out we were now in the throes of an economic crisis but that yes, last year really was a knock out. Then Ben offered up his contacts in the bar business if I needed them.

All eyes were on me. I was shaking and sweating but managed to indicate between twitches that I had it all under control.

Outside the office I furiously dialled Suze . I needed Ian’s help, and quick. It was time for me to stop feeling sorry for myself and to stop wasting time surfing the net looking for adverts for time travelling companions
Suze agreed I could talk to Ian again on the understanding that I was completely “above board” and if I roped him into anything untoward she would publicly disown me.

This is the problem with not competing, having made past mistakes and procrastinating. No one thinks you can do anything. If I had the right weapons I could time travel back to pre Meredith days and life would be better again.


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